changingsigns

Five Minutes Away From Amsterdam Centraal

2006-12-08T20:30:00.000+08:00

This shop is situated right beside the Homomonument, mounted to commemorate all the gays and other homosexuals who were killed during the holocaust. It is a few blocks away from Amsterdam Centraal (around 5 minutes walk perhaps, my pace.) It is along Kaizersgracht and the main road whose name I have completely forgotten. The umbrellas and the bracelets are nice but I like the political postcards better. Uhm, and yes, the men at the counter were quite good.

Long fingernails, rat droppings and the Philippine government

2006-10-16T18:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I noticed my nails were long since they were already gathering dirt. I wanted to cut but I had no time. I will cut them tonight.

A few weeks ago, I noticed rat droppings beside my bed, by the windows, on top of the double decked bed, underneath the cabinet of books, behind the books themselves. I only snuffed them out with a vacuum cleaner last night.

I hated stalling but I do it all the time.

Yesterday, I and more than 200 migrant workers witnessed another stalling - this time from the Philippine Consulate in Hong Kong.

Yesterday was the scheduled Leader's Forum which the Consulate and the migrant organizations here decided to hold. It was the biggest (standing room only!), well-attended forum of all.

After all the chitchats from the Consulate people, we all went down to business. And so did the Consulate.

They stalled, agreed to further look into the matter, smiled, smirked and called for professionalism, friendsly discussions and healthy debates. Any kind of shouting or hard debate would have been deemed uncivilized, undisciplined and not worth the dialogue.

The Consulate itself, however, solicited this kind of response. They did not make any categorical answers to the migrants' demands. They stalled and beat around the bush with their answers to the questions. In essence, they committed to nothing. Clearly, a sign of inutility and worth the people's indignation.

Behind their sweet words and smiles were policies that kill and chill migrant workers to their deaths. They did not waste time in squeezing every dollar from us and making sure we agree. This is one thing they did not stall on and something they do all the time.

These days, with yesterday's event in mind, a lot of migrant workers are sharpening not only their long fingernails but their minds and hearts - against this Consulate and a system that is worse than rat droppings.

Stop Enforced Disappearance! Stop Extrajudicial Killings in the Philippines Now!

2006-08-30T09:34:00.000+08:00

Petition of the Hong Kong Campaign for the Advancement of Human Rights and Peace in the Philippines on the International Day for the Disappeared
August 30, 2006

On the occasion of the International Day of the Disappeared, we, human rights advocates, civil libertarians, migrant workers, unions, youth and students of Hong Kong, unite and call on the Philippine government to effectively and swiftly address the unabated extrajudicial killings and human rights violations in the Philippines.

To date, human rights organizations in the Philippines have documented 729 cases of human rights violations in the country including scores of those who were forcibly abducted and until now remain missing.

Enforced disappearance still remains to be one of the gravest acts of human rights violations. It is a violation of many international conventions on peoples rights not the least of which is the Universal Declaration on Human Rights. The documentation of 147 cases of enforced disappearances (as of June 2006) in the Philippines is a cause for alarm and indignation for all defenders of human rights.

What is even more alarming, of the cases documented and reported to Philippine authorities, not a single case has been resolved.

Worse for victims of enforced disappearance, delegates of the Hong Kong Mission for Human Right and Peace in the Philippines reported that their interview with Task Force Usig, the body formed by the government to supposedly investigate the spate of political killings, revealed that the task force is not investigating cases of those who have been abducted and have not yet resurfaced.

The excuse that was given by the task force was that its mandate does not cover cases of enforced disappearances and that it only investigates cases in which a body has been found. This is an absurdity given the very serious nature of the crime of enforced disappearance which causes continuing grief for the families and friends of the victims. There is no reason why enforced disappearances and extrajudicial killings should be dealt with separately by the authorities as this would surely encourage perpetrators to ensure that bodies are never found. This development could subsequently lead to cases of involuntary disappearances replacing the present wave of extrajudicial killings.

In most cases, human rights groups have documented the involvement of the police, military and paramilitary groups on incidences of human rights violations. Even the various fact finding missions conducted by respectable institutions and groups all over the world has revealed the pattern of state involvement in these human rights violations.

Different international organizations including human rights associations, journalists, churches, lawyers and even parliamentarians have already expressed their concern over the killings.
However, the response of the government to the extrajudicial killings and enforced disappearance is very disappointing.

President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyos strongly-worded promises of solving human rights violations cases issued only after international pressure mounted and the issue has become a national concern still remain as promises.

On this day, we demand the Philippine government to:

1. Uphold international conventions and UN resolutions on human rights such as the Declaration on the Protection of all Persons from Enforced Disappearance
2. Give full priority to the investigation and resolution of reported cases of human rights violations;
3. Direct the police and the military to account for their involvement on human rights violations and direct them to resurface those who have been forcibly abducted;
4. Provide sufficient protection and assistance to witnesses of human rights violations incidences, and;
5. Establish a truly independent body that shall investigate the cases of human rights violations.

Signed:
Hong Kong Campaign for the Advancement of Human Rights and Peace in the Philippines
Asian Human Rights Commission
Hong Kong Christian Institute
Hong Kong Christian Industrial Committee
Justice and Peace Commission of HK Catholic Diocese
Hong Kong Confederation of Trade Unions
Ziteng
Center for Justpeace in Asia
World Student Christian Federation – Asia Pacific
Asia Pacific Mission for Migrants
Asian Center for the Progress of Peoples
Asian Students Association
Thai Regional Alliance
Association of Indonesian Migrant Workers
Iglesia Filipina Independiente/Philippine Independent Church – HK
United Filipinos in Hong Kong (UNIFIL-MIGRANTE-HK)
Filipino Migrant Workers Union
Abra Tinguian Ilocano Society
Cordillera Alliance
United Pangasinan HK
Migrante Sectoral Party - Hong Kong
Association of Concerned Filipinos
Friends of Bethune House
Pinatud a Saleng ti Umili
Filipino Migrant's Association
Association of Filipino Women Migrant Workers in Hong Kong
Filipino Friends - Hong Kong
LIKHA Migrant's Cultural Organization
Bruce Van Voorhis, AHRC
Michael Anthony, AHRC
Corazon Amaya-Canete, Kisapmata Productions
Cynthia Ca Abdon-Tellez, MFMW
Jun Tellez, MFMW
Norman Carnay, MFMW
Gessen Rocas, Hong Kong
Peggy Lee, human rights activist (Canada)

McDonald's 1

2006-08-25T01:26:00.000+08:00

Sa isang halos araw-araw nadadaanan ang McDonald's at tila nanawa na sa simpleng pagtunghay lang dito, at naumay na rin sa halos buong panahong pagkahumaling dito lalo noong unang inilagak ang branch nito sa may malapit sa Sta. Cruz Church sa Carriedo, hindi ako makapaniwalang kumakain pa rin ako ng McDo.

Kahit narinig ko na sa mga kasama ko ang kasamaang dulot ng hindi matunaw-tunaw na burger, fried at beef patty sa tyan, ang paninira nito sa puri ng kalikasan at ang simpleng katotohanang junk food ito at tyak na isang malaking pakana ng mga kapitalistang ganid, natatakam pa rin ako at buong panahong nagkukumahog para lamang makatikim nito kahit isang beses isang linggo.

Pero hindi ngayong linggo. Simula noong dumating ako mula sa Pilipinas, halos araw-araw ko yatang pinupuntahan ang McDo at masayang kumakain. Paborito ko ang Big Mac kahit pa talagang masamang cholesterol lang naman ang idudulot nito sa akin. Paminsan-minsan na lamang sa Coke na nakapanlilinis ng makina ng sasakyan kasi meron naman silang Fruit Punch at Iced Mocha na tyak ding magpapataas sa aking blood sugar.

Hindi ako masaya sa french fries at Mcnuggets kasi walang tinapay although masarap talaga ang mga recent pakana nilang sauce tulad ng malay satay, hot ichiban, thai mayo at isa pang nakalimutan ko na.

Sa punto de bista ng isang nagmimintina ng kalusugan, masamang pagkain ang McDonald's. At kahit pa alam ko na ito, kumakain pa rin ako.

Sa punto de bista ng isang nagtataguyod ng organic farming at lumalaban sa corporatization ng pagkain, dapat itinitigil ko na ang pagtangkilik dito. Pero kumakain pa rin ako.

Mamatay sa nais. Mamatay sa hilig.

Naalala ko tuloy si Nanay noong sinasabi nya ito sa amin habang kumakain sya ng malalambot na buto ng manok. Matagal nangn yumao si Nanay mula sa cancer of the colon, 26 years na ang nakakaraan. Malungkot ako noong namatay si Nanay. Naalala ko pa rin sya at ang sinabi nya sa akin:

"Mamatay sa hilig."

Apartment sa Dapitan

2006-08-22T16:40:00.000+08:00

Apartment sa Dapitan

Nakilala ko ang sumusulat dito. Sa totoo lang, kilala ko na sya bago ko pa nalamang meron syang blogspot. Iilan pa lamang ang nababasa ko sa mga isinulat nya pero nawili na rin ako. I find it weird that I am publishing two entries in my blog today.

Magaling kasi siyang sumulat. He inspires me. To write again.

shingles

2006-08-22T16:07:00.000+08:00

i am immuno-compromised. this is a wild guess after having what i had days before. shingles.

i had shingles, or herpes zoster, the same virus that causes chicken pox. and before i had it, i never thought chicken pox would not come back and attack me once again. but it did. as the website for diseases screamed words of truth to me, even before i confirmed it was shingles from the doctor i visited that day, shingles do happen to people, many of whom are either 50 years old and above or immuno-compromised. i am definitely not 50 years old.

i experienced a strong stabbing pain on my chest days before. i sprayed myself with an anti-pain mixture that was brought home to manila to a friend from her US-based girlfriend thinking it would relieve myself of such a weird intoxicating attack of what seemed to be big needle pricks on my chest.

a day after, i saw rashes building up on my upper left torso. i attributed the rashes to the spray and blamed my friend for it. she was not responding to my text messages so i thought she was feeling guilty about it. i did not know i had rashes building up on my back until the blind masseuse told me she was feeling some hot nodules on my back and decided against massaging that affected area.

i did not know it would be this painful - physicially and financially. physically, the virus was attacking a part of my dermatome, an area with a lot nerves making the fruition of the blisters into pus-filled tit-like nodules excruciatingly painful. financially, it killed off the remaining happy days of my life when i spent more than 1,000HKD for a week-long intake of valtrex. what a way to celebrate my vacation back home.

and then they all crusted and i got well a week after. true, what my doctor said, that valtrex was a miracle drug hastening the resolution of the virus from 4-5 weeks to just one. although i am having post-herpetic neuralgia, where one still feels a stabbing pain on the chest or around the affected area, i am okay now.

i don't mind being immuno-compromised but i do mind not taking it seriously.

Buying Giordano

2006-05-23T08:45:00.000+08:00

Opening Sale

I thought of writing really serious stuff lately but right now I have nothing much to say so it is better to get off with something that I have learned to do when I got here in Hong Kong - to become a consumerist.

As a clothesperson, I have a motto: wala. Wala akong motto. I just thought that since Hong Kong has a year-long sale with REAL sales hitting the scene every 3-4months, I better start searching ones that I can really depend on for wear - that is cheap but hip, wearable and formidable (lasting at least 2 years). Like Giordano. (Really? Hai me?)

Pants

Giordano has expensive clothes but they sell their pants cheap sometimes. I got my cheapest at 50HKD. They have this lifetime promo coupon where they would put sticker for every pair that you buy. Upon purchasing your 8th pair, you get a pair of pants FREE. Natawa lang ako sa promong ito kasi para namang lagi kang mauubusan ng pantalon... UNTIL, I met some people who are so addicted to jeans, pantaloons and what have you that they would be more than willing to spend 3,000HKD for a pair (Japanese brand Evisu has that price in his tag. How do I know Evisu is a man? Maybe he is gay.)

But then, I used up all the eight slots, thanks to friends who supported me in this cause. No, I did not have the free one to myself. I gave it to my comrade-friend who needed a pair really badly. I should go to heaven for this.

As for the belts that sell for 2 for 80HKD sometimes, wag mong bilhin. It only took me 3 months to see it talking back to me. Nakakatakot. I had to buy something expensive pero yung tatagal naman, say, ng 2 taon.

Bili-bili na!

Sunday is the best time to buy Giordano shirts, specifically sa Des Voux Road sa Central. Filipino migrants buy things as pasalubong or padala sa kanilang mga kaanak. At dahil dito, mabenta ang mga damit at tindahang tulad ng Giordano. Doon ko lang narinig ang Sex Bomb dancers na kumakanta sa background habang naghihiyawan at nang-eengganyo naman ang mga Giordano boys and girls: "Bili bili na! Mulang mula! Pala inyung asawa, poging pogi!"

So that's where you will see all these factory defects being sold at 10HKD a piece. Naiinis din ako kasi lapsap (garbage) na pero ibinebenta pa rin. Iba talaga ang kapitalista. Pero... bumibili pa rin ako paminsan-minsan.

Frogging

Natuwa ako nung nakita ko uli yung palaka sa Giordano. It reminded me of the 80s, one of those years when I got a Giordano hand-me-down from my heavily endowed sister. I was happy with the shirt, a mint green collared tee that I only wore for a few months because I got bigger.

Closing time

In the end hindi pa rin ako tumatagal ng limang minuto sa Giordano. Pangarap lang karaniwan sa maraming taong tulad ko na maging official endorser nito at mapupuno ng Giordano pants, shoes, undies and shirts ang aking gamunggo sa liit na cabinet.

I am now researching where Giordano factories are, who their workers are, how much they receive at the day's end, if they are estranged with the products that they make, and how much the owners are earning from this "endeavor".

World Without Strangers... nice design.

Top 20s for 2005 - Part 1

2005-12-29T10:34:00.000+08:00

Days before 2006 starts. Days before 2005 draws to a close.

Is there anything interesting this year that has been very "impactive", as I one time mentioned?

With that, I will attempt to list down 20 and 05 people, events, places, foods, things that have made considerable impact, significance or what have you on my life. Sige nga, I'll try.

But not now. Maybe later?

Even Activists Get The Fits

2005-07-29T21:44:00.000+08:00

Sa gitna ng birthday celebration ng mga kaibigan, bigla akong inabot ng depression.

Dahil ba ang daming trabaho at hindi ko alam kung paano i-juggle?

Dahil kaya sa sobrang dami ng kampanya, nag-iisip ako kung paano pagsasabay-sabayin ang mga ito?

O dahil sa tanda kong ito, isip bata pa rin ako?

Hahahaha... Haaay!

Ayoko ng ganito. Isusulat ko na ang lahat ng mga assessment papers ng bawat line of work na ginagawa ko.

let me do my work

2005-04-25T00:22:00.000+08:00

the world fizzles out like the ball carrie burned in fury.

i am feeling the same and i know that i should not be.

it is not objective.

Ano ba ang gagawin?

2005-03-16T16:22:00.000+08:00

Ano ang gagawin mo kung yung nag-iinterbyu sa yo eh mas madaldal pa sa yo?

when your own state endangers you

2005-03-16T11:50:00.000+08:00

what does one do when:

a. the very farmers and workers of a hacienda are ordered strafing and attacks as the government, labor secretary and the hacienda owners' response to their demand for a wage increase?

b. anyone becomes a subject of the government's ire whether he/she is a journalist, a priest or a human rights advocate?

c. the military considers media interview with "enemies of the state" as equally terroristic and henceforth criminal and henceforth liable to possible military attack?

d. the number one terrorist is the president's best friend?

What to do when attacked by german measles

2005-03-11T19:53:00.000+08:00

I was struck by the measles outbreak here in Hong Kong. I guess I was the only one afflicted by it. So what did I do in the last two weeks I was bed-ridden, chilling and pockmarked?

measles mark #1: Drink lots of juices - from cranberry to wheatgrass to aloe to orange to freshly squeezed celery-bittergourd-green-pepper to pineapple to, well, manjuice.

measles mark #2: Get rested. But do go back to exercising after. I had thigh cramps during my days of recovery. I guess that was because of too much sleeping. For more than a week, I had almost a week of bed rest. I almost fell in love with my bed. Had I wished someone was there to watch over and sleep with me.

measles mark#3: Buy lots of DVDs and VCDs if you knew you will get sick. From Stephen Chow to Studio Gibli to old Kurosawa movies to musicals, anything will be fine. But do have some taste, though. Don't settle for anything lower than what your dignity can take.

measles mark#4: Write your friends. I had postcards more than enough to keep me busy for the rest of my non-viewing hours. But computers can be fun but not as fun as writing it and making it personal.

measles mark #5: Sneak out to buy things outside the house. But never let yourself be found out. It is not nice for bystanders to know you have measles. Good thing, Hong Kong is still reeling from the cold so I can manage with fake fur and a scarf and a cheap-looking pair of boots. Not thigh-high but high enough to make you look less than cheap.

measles mark #6: Never attempt to write on blogs you are verbally gifted. I am not so I did not. And I suppose that I should not still since I am recovering. Still.

Imagine silence for sale

2005-02-22T20:54:00.000+08:00

If everything was included in the Trade Related Intellectual Property Rights (TRIPS) agreement of the World Trade Organization and some rich tycoon just decided to patent silence...

Or do I have to qualify?

niwdenapolis

2005-02-04T14:06:00.000+08:00

niwdenapolis

Levi's 501, anyone?

2005-02-01T18:08:00.000+08:00

As issues come before me -

the outright slaughter of democracy in Nepal by its own king,

the lives of gem workers in China worth little less valuable than the gems they mine for the jewellery company Lucky International,

the case of my friend's Lupus-stricken father,

the domestic workers here calling for wage increase, just about the right thing to do when they receive less than what they deserve and work for,

- I realized how unimportant having a 501 is.

ang sikreto ng malakompyuter na mag-isip kong kaibigan

2004-12-16T01:56:00.000+08:00

kung memory ang pag-uusapan, talo pa ang tatlong hard drives na inilagay sa pinakabagong kompyuter.

kung bilis lang sa pagdedevelop ng ideya, talo pa ang pinaghalong google, yahoo at msn search engines (bagong natutunan ko nito lang).

kung usapin ng pasensya, hinigitan ang malalaking industrial fan na isinaksak sa loob ng kompyuter.

yan ang isang kaibigang kasama ko sa bahay at buhay ngayon. kasama sa bahay kasi nakatira kami sa bahay. kasama sa buhay dahil pareho kami ng ginagawa bagamat magkaiba ng trabaho.

natunghayan ko ang lahat ng yan sa araw araw na magkasama kami at kumikilos. at napagtanto ko ngayon yan. ngayong gabi.

matutulog na dapat ako kasi pinaplano kong gumising ng maaga para mag-gym. mag-aalas dos na (lagpas alas dos na ngayon) at kinakailangan ko ang sapat na oras sa pagtulog. pero hindi sya. hindi sa mga huling araw (at kahit pa noong una akong tumuntong dito sa hong kong) at lalong hindi sa gabing ito (at sa tingin ko kahit sa mga darating na araw, buwan at taon).

hindi naman ako kinakailangang umupo sa sharing nila ng kasama kong dumating mula sa maynila para pag-usapan ang mga naganap nitong huling araw at ang mga posibleng nagaganap. imbyerna sya (kung yun ang tamang gamiting salita) sa isang kasamahan nyang ubod ng bagal at talaga namang me pagkatamad kumilos.

inilatag nya ang mga naganap at hindi naganap dahil na nga rin sa kakuparan ng mga naging developments sa paghahanda sa isang tila simple sa unang tingin na aktibidad. mula doon, inut-ot nya ang mga bagay-bagay kasama ang kasama naming dumating mula sa pinas at ang ilan pang mga kasambahay.

nagitla ako (kahit hindi na bago ito sa akin) sa bilis ng kanyang pagtukoy ng mga kahinaan ng mga kasamang nainvolve sa paghahanda, sa pagpaplano hanggang sa mismong pagpapatupad ng mga gawain at hanggang sa mismong magiging implikasyon kung hindi ito maipapatupad.

isang simpleng gawain sa gitna ng napakaraming dapat tapusin at tila sa unang tingi'y mas mahahalaga pang mga gawaing dapat mapagtuunan ng pansin at panahon. isang simpleng gawaing pinagtuunan nya ng pansin at panahon.

dito ko napag-isip kung paano at gaano kahusay ang kaibigan kong ito. mahusay sya dahil mabilis syang kumilos sa mga bagay. mahusay dahil ang galing na kanyang natutunan sa tagal na rin nya sa paggawa ng mga ginagawa nami'y hindi nya ipinagdadamot kundi'y ipinamamahagi pa sa mga tao. tinuturuan nya ang mga taong nakakaisip nya kung paano mag-isip.

sabi nga nya, huwag iisiping lahat ng bagay ay okey na. dahil hindi laging okey ang mga bagay. kahit pa sa tingi'y nagagampanan naman ang lahat at umuungos ang mga naging paghahanda, huwag mag-assume na thumbs up na ang lahat ng aspeto ng mga paghahanda. walang problema sa pagiging okey at pagkatuwa sa mga pag-unlad pero huwag maging kampante.

mahirap nga namang maging assumptionista. mahirap (at kadalasa'y mapanganib) ang laging pag-assume.

sa lahat ng ito, inisip ko kung dala ba ito ng pagkain nya ng mga maaanghang na mga bagay - mula sa pagkahumaling sa wasabe hanggang sa pagkain ng mga masisiling pagkaing nabibili sa thai restaurants. inisip ko rin kung dala ba ito ng kanyang pagiging hyperactive (pero naisip ko hindi, dahil hindi naman sya pawisin. as if may kinalaman ang pagiging pawisin ng isang tao sa hyperactivity.)

naalala ko ang sabi ng isa pa naming kaibigan - ang sili sa puwit.

ang sili sa puwit na nagmumula sa nakakapang-almuranas na kalagayan ng mga tao sa daigdig, kahit pa sabihing paliitin pa sa kalagayan ng pilipinas.

hindi pantay ang kalagayan ng mga tao sa atin. may mga mayayaman at may mahihirap. may nagsasamantala at may pinagsasamantalahan. ibig sabihin, may kontradiksyon. may tunggalian.

ang tunggaliang nagpapaigting sa hidwaan. ang tunggaliang hindi masasagot ng simpleng 1 + 1 = 2.

at dahil doon, natututo ang taong bumilis sa pag-iisip dahil sapat nga naman talagang marunong magbasa, magbilang, magsulat ang isang tao para suriin ang kanyang pwesto sa lipunan. at malamang hindi pantay-pantay ang kalagayan at katayuan ng mga tao sa atin at sa buong mundo.

simplistiko man itong nasabi ko pero wastong sabihin magandang tanungin kung ano rin ang tindig ng isang tao sa gitna ng ganitong kalagayan, ganitong sitwasyon, ganitong realidad.

at sa kahuli-hulihan, hindi na sumasapat na nag-aaral ka na lamang. hindi na sumasapat na alam mo lang.

sa bilis ng pag-iisip ng mga kaaway ng maraming pinagsasamantalahan, kinakailangan ang mabilis na pag-iisip at paggampan ng mga gawain para maharap at maresolba ang mga problemang nakahapag sa mesa (at nakatago sa ilalim nito, sa upuan at maging yaong nasa sahig.)

mula sa pagsipat ng mga problema, muli ang tanong na kung kanino ka papanig.

at pag nasagot mo na ang lahat ng tanong na ipinuwesto ko sa taas, marahil matatanto na ang sikreto sa mala-kompyuter na mag-isip kong kaibigan.

wala sa dunong na natutunan sa eskwelahan. wala sa dami ng librong teknikal. kasama ang lahat ng iyan sa mas mahalagang paglubog sa malawak na kaparangan ng tao.

ang sili sa puwit ng aking kaibigan. ang siling akin ngayong itinanim sa aking kaloob-looban.

next stop 1

2004-12-15T01:38:00.000+08:00

one of the perks of international youth work is travel. free travel.

take cathay pacific and you'll have your loads of good films, a spacious seat and haagen dazs cups. take klm and you're off to amsterdam, anything beyond it will be 90% assurance of a lost luggage. take lufthansa and ravel in the small airport cars they call smart cars in munich, frankfurt and hamburg (turns out they are real and are being ridden by people in germany). take philippine airlines and you can be sure of a delay.

i am biased towards cathay pacific although i cannot really say the same with thai airways. and yes, emirates is really wonderful with equally good and comfortable seats, blankets you can bring home, your own TV with several games to choose from, and good arabic food.

but that is not the issue here. one of the quirks as well is if you get used to it. if you get used to it, it gets boring. and it has for me. it reminds me of our trips to Bicol via bus, car or train. a book would fail to keep me occupied as sleep sets in and occupies that space between me and the book. especially with the long flights and series of stop overs, it irks one to wake up, pick up the hand luggage, go somewhere to wait and wait for several hours. tapos masakit pa pwet mo sa kauupo.

good thing, norwegian air has good looking stewards to boot. frankfurt airport is so spacious (pwedeng magyosi sa loob). hk airport is far more spacious (a good playground for agawang base). any airport in spain (kahit saan yosi... maski sa loob ng elevator).

but then again this is not the issue. the real issue will be the next stop - saan ba talaga tutungo ang lahat ng mga byaheng ito?

masarap magbyahe pero kung walang napapala ang kabataan, walang sense. International Youth Work does not aim to have people flying from one place to another and make him/her a seasoned political jetsetter.

sayang nga lang at maraming organisasyong ganyan. may mga tao ring ganyan. sana di ako matulad.

Sauna Chronicles 1

2004-12-08T18:09:00.000+08:00

I have indulged myself recently into two worldly things - horoscopes and saunas.

One time, my scorpio horoscope reading instructed me to be just by myself anywhere I may be. And that no matter how I keep myself off the picture or out of the limelight, I would still be caught and found by a secret admirer.

It turned out to be true - in the sauna. Except, that it happened not to me but someone I have come to know and be comfortable with there (we were both regulars, unfortunately we say. later we both learned we were born days apart frm each other.)

He was pursued by this big hunk of a man. Anywhere he went or hid, he was relentlessly pursued. He asked me to pretend to be him but I knew it was impossible since he was several inches taller than I am.

And he was caught. Of course, the man was sleazy and sly with hands big enough to cover my whole face and stop me from saving my friend from him. What happened next was, well, thinkable.

He went with the big hunk of a man whose hands were bigger than those handstatues in Kowloon Park and the rest was... a history of moans and anything I would not want to hear.

That time, the walls were not quiet. They whispered.

Life Continues With 40

2004-11-30T23:11:00.000+08:00

I pledge my allegiance. I give my support. I stand with pride.

For the organization that stood not only for me but for many others.

I am proud to be a patriotic youth.

Sex and Paper: Feeding the Passion

2004-11-30T10:23:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I had this for a title.

Not because I watched Jim Caviezel in The Passion of the Christ and I have vowed to become a full-fledged heretic. Not because I watched Ricky Reyes several times in the 1980s TV hit Beauty School Plus and I decided to have my lithf* checked.

It came after my last encounter.

He was either of three: 20 years old and tall, 35+ and taller, 32 something and just right. We both did well in our own craft. His tools for writing were as deft as that he uses for his language. I was almost desperate when I met him. It has been an hour and I have not written anything. And I needed inspiration, I needed fire for my writing. And there he was in the dark corner. The rest, as the cliche goes, was history written in our memory/diary/blog.

Unlike the walls in Crazeeeee's entry, the walls there were quiet but welcoming. They were like geishas in wait. Waiting to serve, receive and succumb. And like them, I sat and waited.

And through the long journey/experience/ordeal, I thought I should write about it. Not because I liked it.

But because I have become it.

And I don't want it.

What makes a chatter boring?

2004-11-17T17:12:00.000+08:00

When he has nothing else to do but chat.

reading blogs

2004-11-17T01:23:00.000+08:00

there isn't really sense in this new blog entry.

i am reading new blog entries, even old ones. i guess i was never really fond of reading other people's diaries as i am listening to them being read out loud, as what bridget jones does to her diary. of course, it was on film and people would die reading the entries on one big flat surface...

if only these letter can dance around like ants marching in the microsoft word... why do they have them anyway?

Me, My Face and I

2004-11-14T01:15:00.000+08:00

This morning, I went to the bathroom window and guess what I saw - me.

One would feel bored and irked at one time to hear people talk about how they look, how others look, how they should look and how others should look.

I saw my face in the mirror and it has seen and been through weathered times. At my age of 30, I look older than I should be. My skin, unsmoothened by time and youthful impulse to prick pimples, has remained what it is today - a glimpse of the moon on earth. My nose has been through winds and now looks more like a stonehenge nose. And my....

Being an activist, I should not be preoccupying myself with these things. Because it is usually that your work is valued more than your look. And looks are just skin deep as I always tell my comrades, friends and others (hoping that I can possibly convince myself in the end.) But no, I buy tea tree oil facial washes, ointment to dry acnes, chinese herbal teas for detoxification, very expensive lotion. I have strutted in and out of body shops, sasas, mannings and watsons simply because they are the closest to my place, most convenient and with a wide array of cheaper products and hence for the least can-affords. But then no matter how I am knowledgeable of the fact that this will not work, I still buy. I have become a consuming freak in unquenchable search for the fountain of beauty (that money can buy.)

Capitalism has individualized me. Separated my work from my face.

These advertisements, these companies, this system convince me to need the things I usually won't find necessary. But I am at one point, unfortunately, convinced.

I wonder if there is one gay more who is not (or maybe who is AS) badlooking as I am. Maybe we can go out together and talk more about what lies on the face of the earth than what can be seen on my face. Or his face. Ot those products in the display window which we can use on our faces.

Changing Signs

2004-10-27T04:58:00.000+08:00

Today I start my blog. It will be much more economical for me since I would be ridding myself of my great consumerist desire for notebooks, paper and pens.

Although I am pretty sure I won't be able to reach a lot with this blog, only those who can log in, pay up a month's fee and stay in their computer chairs for half a lifetime, this is a good way to express.

Colleagues inspire me. Their views on issues. The issues they tackle. The issues that affect not only them but many others as well.

More importantly, people, those who won't be able to read this, who know the issues because the latter affect them more than many of us, and strive for change.

I end my existentialist angst here. This blog is for them.